Please excuse my language but I fucking hate that word. And the sad fact is that any woman who dares to stick her neck out online and post anything even vaguely feminist will find herself on the receiving end of that word and many others like it. She'll be called humourless, referred to as a feminazi, told to "fuck off and make me a sandwich/get back in the kitchen", called a cunt, a bitch, a slut... you name it.
It amazes and horrifies me just how many people - mostly men (in terms of the curse words, at least) but a fair proportion of women too - when confronted with the evidence of just how inequal our society is and why feminism is needed and why and how things need to change, instead of engaging with that discussion, instead of looking at the evidence and assessing it, instead of entering into a logical or meaningful discussion about it, just shut their eyes, put their hands over their ears and instead of chanting, "Nananaaaa, I can't hear yooooooo!" shout CUNT BITCH SLUT FEMINAZI IT'S JUST A JOKE SHUT THE FUCK UP etc etc etc in the hope that they can somehow drown out the voices calling for change and make them go away.
I actually came across a really good - and very inspiring - video yesterday from a fantastic young feminist called Melissa A Fabello. She made this video in response to getting called the above names when she posted a video about abortion rights and I just love how she deconstructs the insults and points out how they are not only ineffective but in fact actually strengthen both her belief that feminism is still important and needed and her resolve to continue her work.
And interestingly enough, just the very next day, I have become the proud recipient of my very own "cunt" insult from an angry anti-feminist. It happened in the comments section of a Facebook post showing a woman wearing a bikini top that was printed with the image of naked boobs on it, making it look kinda like she was topless. Needless to say, the comments on this image got off to a fine start with an assertation that any woman wearing such a bikini top was "asking for it" and went downhill from there. It made for bloody depressing reading and pretty much hit every single square on the anti-feminist/misogyny bingo card, from memes saying "Shut up, bitch!" to the usual "it's just a joke!" and "Get a sense of humour!" comments, to "fucking feminists" and "feminazis" and, perhaps worst of all, some people apparently in all seriousness trying to explain and justify their assertions that women shouldn't dress provocatively because if they do it's their own fault if they get raped.
This is the comment that tipped me over the edge and made me need to reply (this was part of an ongoing debate where this commenter insisted that, whilst women of course in theory should be able to dress how they please, they need to accept the realities of the world (that men rape) and take steps to avoid putting themselves in situations (e.g. drinking, going out late at night, dressing in skimpy outfits, having a vagina) where they might get raped):
"Women should be able to wear what they want, you're quite right, but you need to stop associating 'rapists' with 'men' because that is extremely sexist and narrow. Only 9% of rape actually happens from 'strangers' the majority of rape happens from people you actually know, husbands, boyfriends, friends, colleagues, anyone. So to say that you can't wear what you want for fear of being raped is utter bollocks. If a rapist is going to attack you, he would attack you regardless. You just need to take the right steps to make sure that you're not in a position to ever have that happen."
You realise you just completely contradicted yourself, right? As you say, only 9% of rape is the stereotype of a stranger dragging you off the street. The majority of the time, it is people you know - husbands, boyfriends, friends, colleagues, relatives. So how exactly are women supposed to take these "right steps" of yours to ensure they're not in a position to ever get raped? They should avoid contact with all of the above? How about instead of telling women how they should take action to avoid being raped (basically putting the onus for rape prevention - and therefore the blame if they do get raped - on them), we start teaching men not to fucking rape?
And for that reply I got the following delightful response from some random anti-feminist troll:
Epithets aside (I'll admit at first the C word was a bit upsetting but the more I think about it, and especially given the video above, the more I'm starting to feel a bit proud for getting my first very own anti-feminist troll attack :lol:), it actually boggles my mind that someone could read what I wrote above - about how fundamentally wrong it is to put the responsibility for not getting raped onto the victim instead of assigning the rapist the responsibility for, oh I dunno, not freaking raping - and call ME sexist.
I'm guessing the meaning behind his charmingly succinct comment is something along the lines of the woe-is-me #notallmen mantra that us mean old feminists are unfairly painting all men with the same brush by suggesting that we teach men not to rape (silly old me, I thought it was more to do with the fact that, by a fairly staggeringly majority, it is overwhelmingly men who do rape). Quite frankly though, anyone who believes and supports the view that women are the ones who need to be responsible for rape prevention, is in desperate need of that lesson. As are people who think "cunt" is an appropriate response to a woman expressing her views on rape culture and why it needs to change.
I think I might need to change the title of this blog to The Angry Feminist! Grrrrrrrr! :lol:
